The Accountants, Webisode 10 “The Best Day of My Life”

Written by Michael Schur and Paul Lieberstein
Directed by Randall Einhorn

Dwight: You’re saying Michael stole money from his own company?
Angela: Well, we’ve asked everyone else.
Dwight: No! No, that’s insane. It has to be somebody else. Like Meredith. Or Creed. No. Meredith, definitely.
Angela: We asked her. She said she didn’t do it.
Dwight: Which is exactly what you’d say if you did do it. Oh, man! I should’ve been handling this investigation from the beginning.
Angela: I believe she didn’t do it. Are you doubting me?
Dwight: No.

Kevin: And here.
Oscar: Oh, my God.

Dwight: There has to be a better explanation.
Angela: How did he afford that new waterbed he’s always bragging about?
Dwight: He charged it. Discover. Made a little cash back on the deal. Smart. If he were a general in the Army, and you accused him without proof, you would be court-martialed in front of a firing squad.
Angela: That’s not true.
Dwight: Okay, watch “A Few Good Men” and tell me that that’s not true. I own it on DVD if you wanna come by later. “You can’t handle the truth.” Just kidding, you can.

Angela: Well, Dwight says that Michael didn’t take it, but frankly, I think he’s hiding something. [clears throat] What?
Oscar: We, uh… We found it.
Angela: You did? Where?
Oscar: In your books.
Angela: Excuse me?
Oscar: You accidentally logged this equipment depreciation twice.
Angela: Well, that doesn’t sound like me.
Oscar: Did you let someone else have access to your books?
Angela: Absolutely not.
Oscar: Then…
Angela: Oh…
Kevin: Yeah. Oh.
Angela: Very well. Case closed.
Oscar: Very well. Very well.
Kevin: Very well.
Oscar: Very well. [Kevin and Oscar pound their fists together in triumph]
Kevin: This is the best day of my life.

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