The Accountants, Webisode 09 “Michael’s Office”

Written by Michael Schur and Paul Lieberstein
Directed by Randall Einhorn

Kevin: [in megaphone] Attention! There is a lot of junk in here! Over!
Angela: Don’t touch anything. You’ll leave fingerprints.
Oscar: You think he’s gonna dust for fingerprints?
Angela: [Kevin blowing train whistle] Stop that.
Kevin: Awesome.
Oscar: What are we even looking for?
Angela: Receipts maybe. Any evidence he took the money. Or something worth $3,000.
Kevin: Do you think this thing is worth $3,000? It’s cool.
Oscar: Check this out. “Michael Scott is the proud owner of a quality Seyko timepiece.” You think he paid $3,000 for a knock-off of a $40 watch?
Angela: I’m gonna go on his computer.
Kevin: Okay, this drawer is locked. Oscar, do you have a key?
Oscar: No, Kevin, I don’t. If I were Michael, where would I hide a key to that drawer? In this drawer. One, two, three, six, nine. Count them. Nine snow globes with Dunder Mifflin logos on them and nothing else.
Kevin: He has a snow-globe drawer.
Oscar: And he keeps it locked.
Kevin: I’d lock it, too. That is very embarrassing.
Angela: Put it back, Kevin. It’s not yours.
Kevin: I like it.
Oscar: Okay, just go to Quicken, ’cause I setup online checking for him.
Angela: Okay, here we go. Last transaction was $23 to Jack’s Joke and Magic Shop.
Kevin: No.
Oscar: Go to the beginning of the month.
Angela: Last eight transactions are to Jack’s Joke and Magic Shop. [sighs]
Kevin: But what are you doing?
Angela: Paying his electric bill.
Kevin: I do not think you should do that.
Angela: Well, it’s about to be shut off.
Oscar: Okay. This is pointless. Someone just has to talk to him.
Kevin and Oscar: [in unison] Not it.
Angela: Hey, wait. [train whistle blowing] Not it.

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