The Accountants, Webisode 04 “Stanley”

Written by Michael Schur and Paul Lieberstein
Directed by Randall Einhorn

Stanley: Somebody stole some money. That is fantastic. How much did they get?
Kevin: $3,000.

Kevin: We’re in the process of interviewing everyone in the office. I think it’s kind of fun. It’s a great chance to catch up with people.

Oscar: I’m sure it’s not you, but we have to ask.
Stanley: I hope they bought something nice, and I hope you never catch them.
Angela: We’d appreciate your cooperation if you find out who did it.
Stanley: I’ll tell you what, if I find out who did it, I will shake their hand, pat them on the back, give them 72 hours to get out of the country, and then I’ll let you know who it is. Is there anything else?
Oscar: No. Okay. Thanks for your help.
Stanley: Thank you.
Kevin: I don’t think it was him.
Angela: Really, genius?

Kevin: Angela thinks it’s an insult when she calls me a genius, all sarcastic and whatnot, but technically, guess what? I am a genius. When I was a kid, I took an IQ test and I scored over 100. So, joke is on you, Angela.

Angela: [sighs] All right. Who should we ask next?
Kevin: I don’t know.
Oscar: You know, my mom picks the worst times to visit.
Kevin: Why? What’s going on?
Oscar: Well, my mom’s in town, but a bunch of my friends are in town, too, and we were going to go watch The Prince of Tides.
Kevin: Why?
Oscar: Well, we don’t like it. We make fun of it. It’s like a Rocky Horror Picture thing we do.
Kevin: All right.
Oscar: But, my mom’s in town, so I can’t go.
Angela: Can we focus, please?
Kevin: I’ve never seen it.
Oscar: Kevin, it’s really bad.

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