The Accountants, Webisode 02 “Phyllis”

Written by Michael Schur and Paul Lieberstein
Directed by Randall Einhorn

Phyllis: You guys wanted to see me?
Kevin: Yeah.
Oscar: Hi, Phyllis. Um, we’re going over everyone’s expenses for the year. It’s just standard procedure.

Angela: We’re missing $3,000 and we’re trying to figure out where it went. Michael is the obvious suspect, but he is the boss, so we have to at least pretend to ask other people first.

Oscar: So, I know the answer’s probably “no,” but did you take any money, or buy anything with company money or anything like that?
Kevin: Oh, my God.
Angela: I knew it.
Oscar: You did?
Phyllis: Well, about three months ago, I was on a sales call and I broke the heel on my shoe and I only had the corporate card. I’m really sorry.
Oscar: Well, how much was that?
Phyllis: $14.
Oscar: We’re talking more like $3,000.
Phyllis: $3,000? That wasn’t me.
Oscar: No. We didn’t think it was.
Phyllis: It will never happen again. My boyfriend, Bob Vance, from Vance Refrigeration gave me a Vance Refrigeration credit card. Only for emergencies.
Kevin: An emergency like, you have an ice cream cake, and you’re in the sun, and it’s melting?
Angela: You don’t use it to buy refrigerators, Kevin!
Kevin: Don’t yell at me.
Oscar: Okay. Thank you, Phyllis.
Phyllis: Okay.

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