The Accountants, Webisode 01 “The Books Don’t Balance”

Written by Michael Schur and Paul Lieberstein
Directed by Randall Einhorn

Jan: Okay. So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?
Oscar: Well, we’ve been trying to balance the books for a week now, and for some reason, they’re not balancing.
Jan: I’m sorry?
Angela: There’s about $3,000 missing, and we’re trying to figure out where it went.
Jan: Well, it’s probably just some accounting error.
Angela: It is not an accounting error.
Jan: Well, it could be…
Angela: It is not an accounting error. Well, it’s not my accounting error.

Kevin: This is the first I’ve heard of it. They never tell me anything. I like it that way.

Jan: Obviously we do need to find it quickly to ensure that it’s not a criminal action.
Kevin: Absolutely, Jan.
Jan: But… I guess that’s it. So, call me when you have news. Okay?
Oscar: Okay.
Angela: Michael said to stop by on your way out. [door bangs]

Oscar: I’m pretty sure Michael’s involved because every other time there’s been money missing from the office, it’s always been Michael. Except, he’s usually really obvious. Like, he’ll say he spent $50 on a lunch with a client, and he’ll submit a receipt from J. Crew.

Angela: Are we absolutely sure it’s not an accounting error?
Oscar: I went over my books three times.
Angela: Me, too.
Kevin: Has anyone in the office bought anything nice recently?
Angela: That’s a very nice watch, Oscar.
Oscar: Yes, it is. My grandfather left it to me when he died.
Angela: I’ve never seen it before. He must have died very recently.
Oscar: Yes, he did, actually. About three weeks ago.

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